Look in the Right Places

If you want to meet swingers to chat, finding a site that is dedicated to helping people meet one another for long term relationships won’t do you much good. You need to first sit down and figure out exactly what it is you’re looking for. Once you figure that out you can start searching for different sites. Most often joining a dating site will be your best bet. This will give you access to chat rooms where there are other like minded adults to chat with.

Starting the Chat

Once you find the right site you need to start the chat. You can usually find several different rooms. You may want to start in the general area, often called a lobby. This lets you just kind of watch what other people are doing and will help build your confidence. Once you feel ready you can either switch to a room that offers what you’re looking for, or just hang out where you’re at. All you need to do is give a basic introduction and then pay attention to what others are saying. You can start to private message others as well. If you send a message and it doesn’t get a response, just move on.

1^st Tip- Start Talking

You want to be able to strike up a conversation with the person you want to ask out. If you’ve never talked to them before you don’t want to jump in and just ask them out. Instead, find ways you can start a conversation. It’s much easier to ask someone out if you’ve gotten to know them. It’s also easier for them to say yes.

2^nd Tip- Keep It Light

It will be a lot less aggressive to ask someone out for a cup of coffee over a full-fledged date. Consider asking the coworker out for coffee or tea for lunch before you jump in and ask them on a date. This way you can get a better idea if you guys will mesh well when you finally do ask them out. You’ll also be able to gauge the situation better to see if you stand a chance. At the end of the coffee or lunch date if you don’t feel good about it, let it go.

3^rd Tip- Keep It Out of the Office

Once you do ask them out you want to make sure that you keep your professional and private relationship completely separate. This way if it goes south you can still maintain a good working relationship.

Kill the Cliché

If you’ve heard the pick up lines used before, then you want to disregard them. Cliché’s never work. Instead of working they often have the opposite of the desired effect. Don’t ask someone if it hurt when they fell from heaven or anything else this bad. Instead, come up with fresh material.

Keep It PG

You don’t know what kind of personality the person you’re trying to pick up has. Even online you don’t really know. So you don’t want to use anything that is overly aggressive or sexual. Even if an online profile alludes to sex, you still want to avoid it. The sex talk can come up later.

Make It Original

Coming up with your own material is going to be a much better way to make an impression. In fact, just forget about the idea of using a pick up line. Look for things in their online profiles that you can use to strike up a conversation. If they profess a love for rescuing dogs, make up a line around that. For instance, sending that person a message saying that you love animals or love the idea of rescue will be more than enough to get your foot in the door. Keep it simple, classy, and personal.

Understanding Boundaries

The first thing all experts will tell you is that without firm boundaries in place you will fail as a swinger. Not only will you fail, you can risk ruining your relationship entirely. Swinging does cause jealousy regardless of the type of relationship. If you don’t address this and set up rules for you then you are going to cause trouble. Instead of waiting for it to happen, sit down and actually talk about what kind of rules need to be in place and why. This lets you make better decisions later down the road.

Breaking the Rules

It’s inevitable that you’ll find yourself in a situation that you didn’t plan for while you’re swinging. If you think it will break the rules in any way you need to step out of the situation. If you want to go forward you need to take your partner in to another area and have a solid discussion about it. Don’t pressure them. If the answer is no, it’s simply no. You can talk about it later.

Choosing Other Swingers

The choice to include others in your sex life needs to be a decision that is made by both you and your partner. If you meet someone outside the relationship you need to be open with your partner about it. If you don’t and you just bring someone else in, you’re ruining the trust that is necessary for this lifestyle.

Look At Features

If you just want a forum based site that allows you to interact online, you can find plenty of sites for this. However, if you want the option to interact in real time through video or IM style chats, you may have to look a little harder. Most free swinging sites will have these options, but you may have to pay for them. There are free sites that allow you to do this. You’ll need to keep looking, and then try them out. It may be worth it in the long run to pay the small fee if it means you can access more people.

Local versus International

If you want a site that just allows you to talk with others then choosing a worldwide site will work great. This will give you an opportunity to learn more about the swinging world and meet some great chat buddies. However, if you want to find a site that is a little more local so you can possibly meet in person you’ll need to find sites that have a local presence. A lot of the global sites will have sections for different towns. These are often free. You can sign up several of these free online swinging sites and then find the ones that you like the best.

Be Honest

Unlike a resume you need to be honest and clear in your dating profile. While it’s okay to embellish a resume a little bit, embellishing your dating profile can lead to disaster. Think of it this way. If you run across a profile where someone calls their self an entrepreneur, then you discover they are really unemployed with no prospects, it doesn’t matter how great they are. This embellishment will leave a sour taste. You don’t have to dwell on the negatives, and you can eliminate information that you think is best discussed in person. For instance, if you are unemployed, simply don’t include any of this on your profile. Then when you meet you can explain how you want to go forward, what happened, etc.

Be Yourself

Don’t feign an interest in jazz music just to impress someone. If the dating leads to a relationship, your new partner will be left wondering what else you haven’t been honest about. If you want to impress someone, go ahead and take them out or do something that you don’t necessarily have an interest in. Then at the end of the night you can make a comment like ‘I didn’t realize jazz could be so interesting’ or something along those lines. This way you are being yourself, you aren’t faking it, and you’re being real. They will appreciate the honesty and the fact that you agreed to something you wouldn’t ordinarily do.